Aries

Good things come to those who wait, but there is something to be said for just going for what you want, too.

Taurus

Stay true to yourself and you can never be misled.

Gemini

Set your ambitions aside this month and devote yourself to the things you truly love to do.

Cancer

Cherish and protect your kind and gentle heart with all of your might; it’s a rare gift to have.

Leo

There is magic in sometimes not getting what you thought you wanted and needed.

Virgo

Slow down and let yourself breathe.

Libra

Life will not always be fair but you will always find a way to make the most of whatever happens.

Scorpio

Trust is not easily given by you, but sometimes there is beauty in taking that leap of faith and giving your heart to someone else.

Sagittarius

Allow yourself to recklessly explore your curiosity and you will never be disappointed.

Capricorn

Remember why you started to reignite the passion that led you to pursue your goals in the first place.

Aquarius

Being a little different than others isn’t a bad thing, it’s an opportunity.

Pisces

There are lessons to be found in lost dreams; don’t forget to look for them.

Hi, my name is Molly Burford and I spiral a lot. Most times, my mind looks a bit like this:

And it really fucking sucks.

Luckily, after therapy (shout out to Stephanie), my own personal observations, and some good ‘ol fashioned Googlin’, I’ve come compiled five little strategies to help short-circuit a spiral when you feel like you just can’t stop it.

1. Take a fucking shower.

Or anything that will change your body temperature, such as holding ice cubes or simply running your hands under warm or cold water. A change in body temperature can literally elicit a change in your mental state. This is a nod to one of the skills taught in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), called TIP, and is part of their distress tolerance strategies. It is said to help someone who is experiencing emotional distress refocus and ground oneself.

Personally, I’ve found this tip (lol) to be very beneficial. When I’m in a particularly grueling spiral, I’ve literally taken hot and cold showers to help slow my thoughts and regroup. Not only do I feel like I’m doing something for #selfcare, but physiologically speaking, I’m literally changing my body chemistry. It’s a simple but effective trick to stop a spiral in its tracks.

2. Change your scenery.

One thing I like to do when I’m really struggling is force myself to run an extremely quick and easy errand to a store nearby, getting out of the house and into a fresher mindset. Not only do I cross something off my to-do list, but I’m also physically stepping out of my surroundings, symbolically, if you will, shelving whatever it is that’s ailing me. Because let’s face it, it’s easier to have a mental breakdown alone in your room than in the aisles of Target. (Author’s note: I’ve done both. Highly recommend a private freakout.)

Extra challenge: Make sure you go to an actual person to check out. No self-checkout. This will force you to make conversation, taking the focus off yourself and onto someone else, ultimately rerouting your mind from worrying about x, y, z and into exchanging quick pleasantries with a fellow human being. Sometimes, our mind just needs a little redirection. That’s all.

3. Plan for your ideal life with a ~vision board~.

Sounds corny, but this also serves as a reminder that whatever you’re going through is temporary. You’re not always going to feel this way. You’re not always going to be lonely or broke or miserable (or all three!).

So get your creative juices flowing and set up a Pinterest board, a physical board, a five-year plan, and end-of-year plan…whatever serves you best. Visualize what you want out of your life and brainstorm ways to achieve those things. Yes, not everything will be possible. But it’s also okay (and beneficial!) to hope. After all, according to Rewire Me, creating a vision board brings clarity to your dreams, allows us to reach a greater level of awareness, and, what I think is the most important, it provides incentive. It helps keep our “eyes on the prize” and our resilience strong. It reminds us why we started and why we ought to keep going.

4. Acceptance mantras.

Because sometimes “being positive” doesn’t always work; in my experience, though, acceptance does. In DBT, this is called “radical acceptance” and it’s the ultimate surrender to what is, rather than focusing on what we think “should” be. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not surrendering to your circumstances, but rather it’s acknowledging and allowing reality. Fighting what already has happened is what leads to suffering. Accepting what has happened and figuring out what to do next leads to problem-solving.

Some examples of some radical acceptance mantras/statements include:

• It is what it is.
• It’s no use fighting the past. 
• This moment is exactly as it should be, given what has happened before it. 
• I cannot change what has already happened.

Also, come up with your own variations of the aforementioned statements. Find one that resonates most with you and repeat it out loud or silently whenever you start ruminating on something. It helps bring peace to your mind and soul when you stop resisting and start allowing. Try it.

5. Write it down, fold it up, come back to it later.

Psychology Today recommends writing down whatever it is that’s causing your mind to race. This allows you to return to these things later. To make it extra powerful, fold up the paper after you’re done writing down your worries and put it somewhere safe. It’s a way to symbolically compartmentalize and give yourself a break from the worries. With distance gives new perspectives which can lead to new solutions. And sometimes, letting something be makes you realize there was nothing really to worry about in the first place.

***

When we’re in a place of personal crisis, it’s easy to get wrapped up in whatever is going wrong. This is human and understandable. But ruminating and obsessing over something that has already happened, only might happen, or will probably never happen does not serve you or anyone else. It is unproductive and causes unnecessary suffering. The next time you find yourself in a spiral, try the aforementioned strategies to help calm yourself and bring peace back to yourself. You deserve to feel okay. You deserve to feel at ease. 

Also, you do not have to handle this on your own! Sometimes, racing and ruminating thoughts need to be treated through therapy and that’s totally okay. There are many types of therapies available according to your needs and Psychology Today has an awesome guide to the different types, as well as a directory to therapists in the U.S. There is no shame in needing someone to talk to. It could very well save your life; it saved mine.

So, in conclusion:

You will be okay. I will be okay.

We got this.

Move to Denver for a fresh start. Leave everything and everyone behind, hoping that distance will make everything a little bit easier to bear. A little less intense. A little less painful. Find that you’re sorely mistaken, that running only makes it hurt more, and that homesickness is for people and not places.

And yet, find yourself grow through the pain.  

Sink into yourself and make peace with the fact that you are not going to mean to them what they mean to you. Think one more time about giving everything another shot, and then quickly realize it’s not only your decision to make. Know it’s not their fault. They did nothing wrong. Understand it’s not your fault either. It just is what it is.  

And then, move on.

Slowly, slowly, slowly. Begin committing to yourself. Hear hope in the wind. Take four steps backward. Breathe in deeply. Pour yourself another glass and invite a friend over for a movie night. Delete their number. Hope you’ll need it again one day, but only as a friend. Be prepared for the fact that this may not happen. Take another step forward. Breathe out completely.

Instead of trying to convince them to love you, remember all the reasons it will never work.

Or simply focus on the most important one: they do not feel the same way you do.

Put your phone away. Practice saying “I’m okay” even though you feel anything but. Truly believe that one day that sentence will become truth. Pray that the person who could not love you will find love one day, too, even though it won’t be with you. Feel bittersweet but happy when you hear that they have. Think that maybe one day you might find that too.

Know that everything that has happened now is for the best. Watch the space between yourself and them grow wider and wider. See your memories together grow more distant and blurry as well. Miss them, but don’t want them back (at least not in that way).

Step into yourself, and your new life. Let them be a lesson and not a destination. Start drawing again. Write a piece called “What To Do Instead Of Convincing Them To Love You” because it’s what you needed to hear. Realize you have it in you to move on.

And then, finally, see them at a gathering with old friends. Run across the room and give them a hug. Look into their eyes and briefly see the past. And as you pull away and let go, see that there is a different kind of future with them. One that isn’t so painful. One that could be called friendship, the thing you’ve truly wanted all along.

Hi.

My name is Molly Burford and I seriously need a pep talk. Specifically one from Queer Eye’s culture expert Karamo Brown. So this is my official application! Please make me feel better about myself and the direction my life is headed, Karamo!!!! I don’t have any money to offer you at this time, but I will pay you in infinite gratitude and can make really good scrambled eggs. (Seriously, they’re fluffy as FUCK.)

Anyway, I’ve seen what you’ve done for those who have appeared on Queer Eye. I think you offer stellar advice. I know you spent years as a clinical social worker and I can’t even imagine how many people you helped before the show.

You see the best in people, you see potential, and that’s a rare gift to have since everyone pretty much hates each other all the time. You are so very kind and intelligent and I think you could really help me get my shit together. Which, currently, is very much not together!!!!

You are literally the hashtag #MondayMotivation personified, but you are not annoying or disingenuous. You’re real AF. And I love it.

From seeing the way you spoke to Tom and cheered him on and coached him in episode one to helping Leo vibe with the other dads to helping Remy become a Remington, I know you are literally an American treasure. Your help would be very much appreciated in the form of a five-10 minute pep talk.

Love,

I Need A Pep Talk, Please!

P.S.

If Jonathan wants to fix my hair, if Tan wants to style me, if Antoni wants to teach me to cook something other than scrambled eggs, and if Bobby wants to help me with my room because I literally don’t have a bedframe, I would not be opposed!

Aries

You’ll learn the beauty of the process, that the best things take time, and that sometimes the most beautiful views are on the way to where you’re headed, not the destination itself.

Taurus

You’ll learn the joy of being wrong. Sounds crazy to you probably, but there is a certain happiness in discovering that you truly don’t know it all and that there is so much to learn and discover about the world.

Gemini

You will learn to follow your curious heart with your entire being, even if that gets you into trouble sometimes. Some say you’re inconsistent, and they may be right, but this fall you’ll learn to work with what you’ve got and see the bright side in always looking for what’s next.

Cancer

You’ll learn to be at peace with the fact that people will not love the same ways you do. You’re a little more sensitive than most, and that’s okay! This fall, you’ll realize that this is a strength and not a weakness by any means.

Leo

You will learn the value of letting someone else take center stage every now and then, that sometimes being a wallflower gives you new perspectives and insights you wouldn’t have had the opportunity to discover and see if you were constantly in the limelight.

Virgo

You will learn that being way too hard on yourself isn’t beneficial or inspiring. It doesn’t prevent you from making mistakes, it just makes you feel like shit. This autumn, you’ll learn the value of positive self-talk and start implementing that into your life.

Libra

You’ll learn that holding a grudge does not bring about justice to a situation. Rather, you’ll discover it only drives a wedge between your closest relationships; and the longer that wedge is there, the more difficult it will be to break it free. This autumn, you will lean into forgiveness rather than hanging onto pain.

Scorpio

You’ll learn that without trust, there is no love. This autumn, you’ll learn the importance of letting people in. You may not master having faith all the time, but you will understand its imperativeness for healthy and strong relationships.

Sagittarius

You’ll learn that it’s okay to deeply care and that you do not have to be so flippant about everything all the time. There is a fine balance between caring too much and too little, and you fall on the latter end of that spectrum. This fall, you’ll find peace in vulnerability and allowing yourself and your feelings to be truly seen.

Capricorn

You’ll learn that working hard doesn’t always mean you’ll succeed or get what you want, but there is always something to be taken away from working your ass off anyway. Discipline is built upon, hard work is a skill, and the integrity found in trying your best is everything.

Aquarius

You’ll learn to that it’s okay to feel, and to feel those things deeply. There is freedom in truly expressing all that it is that is going on in your mind and your heart. You will gradually ease into the idea of sharing more of your emotions with the world, rather than leaving it all locked inside.

Pisces

You’ll learn that dancing around problems doesn’t make them go away, it only makes them worse. This autumn, you’ll realize that you need to start facing issues head-on, rather than waiting for them to disappear.

Ari Eastman also wrote a wonderful write-up.

Game Of Thrones is about a mystical place called Westeros or Wasterdos or something that starts with a W where everyone is fucking each other all the time and there are dragons. It was originally a book series by George R. R. Martin who is very, very, very old. You can watch the show on HBO…..I think.

There are likeeeee, 17 books in the series and the books are #thicc. This is why each episode is like seven hours long. Each one basically has three things: betrayal, sex, and murder. There’s this dude, Jon Snow, who everyone thinks is super hot. I heard he died and came back, so that’s cool. There is also this blonde chick with braids and I think she’s a queen or has some kind of influence. She is also very hot.

Winter is constantly coming there, which might be why everyone is pissed and killing each other all the time. There also was once a red wedding, which I heard didn’t end very well. I think there was a lot of blood (hence, red wedding).

Idk man. I don’t really think there’s anything else to know about the show besides that it’s violent and sexual. Yeah…that means it’s definitely on HBO.

I’m sorry I wrote this, part two.

1. Not everything happens for a reason, but most things do have a tendency to work out okay.

2. Rejection isn’t the end of the world. It’s merely a redirection.

3. You are more than your job title, your productivity, your achievements, the number in your bank account.

4. Just because love didn’t last doesn’t mean you can’t look back at it with affection. That doesn’t mean it didn’t matter. That doesn’t mean you have to negate all the good times. Even if it went down in flames, you can still remember the times it burned bright and alive.

5. You always have a choice.

6. Learning to accept what has already happened will be one of the best things you do for yourself.

7. You’re not done growing; you’re never done growing until your last breath on this earth.

8. It’s okay to cry.

9. Unplug every now and then; you need to recharge, too.

10. One day, you’ll forget all the people who forgot you. It’s not always going to hurt like this.

11. Life is simply a series of beginnings and endings, and both of these are opportunities to grow, to love, to learn.

12. Sometimes, the healthiest thing to do is to just let go of everything that’s holding you back. Of former relationships, of painful memories, of failures; leave it behind. None of it is serving you any longer, so why keep hanging on?

13. It’s never too late to take your health back, be that mental or physical.

14. Slow the hell down. You don’t have to participate in the rat race. Take life at your own pace.

15. Tell the people you love that you love them, especially in the moments when you feel it the most. Acknowledging love is one of the best ways to realize how much of it you truly have in your life.

16. You’re allowed forgive yourself for all the times you got it wrong. You’re allowed to be imperfect. You’re allowed to love yourself despite these shortcomings.

17. No one really knows what the hell they’re doing. Everyone is just figuring it out as they go, including you. This is normal. This is okay.

18. Stay in every now and then on a Friday for a night of self-care. Journal, watch your favorite movie, drink tea, disconnect from your phone, etc. Just focus on what you want to do outside of other people. It’s important to do this because it’s a fantastic way to get to know yourself a little better. Your relationship with yourself is important. After all, the better you know yourself, the better friend, employee, daughter, son, partner you can be.

19. Stop checking your email every five seconds. That’s not healthy.

20. You are loved. You are okay. You are more than enough. Breathe. It’s going to be alright.

Aries (March 21st to April 19th)

Ask for forgiveness, not permission.

Taurus (April 20th to May 21st)

Agree to disagree, but I’m always right just so you know.

Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st)

I don’t care, you choose.

Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd)

Netflix and never leave the house.

Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd)

Know yourself, know your worth, never settle.

Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd)

There’s a spreadsheet for that.

Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd)

Stay balanced, stay sane.

Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd)

Fool me once, I wish death on your entire family.

Sagittarius (November 23rd to December 21st)

*laughing mischievously*

Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th)

I can’t, I have to work.

Aquarius (January 21st to February 18th)

*~All good things are wild & free~*

Pisces (February 19th to March 20th)

Live, laugh, cry about everything.

Voting on November 6th, 2018. Why, you ask? Because you fucking should and it’s important.

Get details on voter status and registration here.

Don’t be a dumbass. 

Hello! It me. The girl you might have actually liked but I never found out if you actually did because I thought you did so I immediately believed something was wrong with you for being into me and therefore lost any and all interest! Also, the challenge was gone and therefore I found you very boring.

Anyway, enough small talk; wassup?! How’ve you been? How’s your mom? She and I never met but we could have had I actually decided to pursue things and let you take me on a date! Who knows! Not me. Or you, evidently. Oh well.

I don’t really know why I’m writing this. Maybe it’s because my life is beginning to feel like a breathing Adele song from the album 21 when she was all sad and single and stuff. (How do you set fire to the rain? IT IS WET!) Or maybe it’s because I’m genuinely considering auditioning for The Bachelor. (What up, Blake? Just moved to Denver! Becca may have made the wrong choice, BUT I WON’T.) Or maybe it’s because Pete Davidson is legit engaged and in love and shit. (I loved you first.) Probably a combination of the three. But I digress. I think (?) the point is this:

Lol sry I suck! I hope you’re doing good and have a job and stuff and love and emotional stability and some money in your savings and at least one piece of adult furniture. Or at least one of those things. Idk. Whatever makes you happy. Happiness is subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” Do you think I’m deep yet?

Anyway.

I’ll end with this: All the best, and please say hi to Linda.

(That was your mom’s name, right? I just made that up, it just sounds like a mom’s name.)

Aries

Good things come to those who wait, but there is something to be said for just going for what you want, too.

Taurus

Stay true to yourself and you can never be misled.

Gemini

Set your ambitions aside this month and devote yourself to the things you truly love to do.

Cancer

Cherish and protect your kind and gentle heart with all of your might; it’s a rare gift to have.

Leo

There is magic in sometimes not getting what you thought you wanted and needed.

Virgo

Slow down and let yourself breathe.

Libra

Life will not always be fair but you will always find a way to make the most of whatever happens.

Scorpio

Trust is not easily given by you, but sometimes there is beauty in taking that leap of faith and giving your heart to someone else.

Sagittarius

Allow yourself to recklessly explore your curiosity and you will never be disappointed.

Capricorn

Remember why you started to reignite the passion that led you to pursue your goals in the first place.

Aquarius

Being a little different than others isn’t a bad thing, it’s an opportunity.

Pisces

There are lessons to be found in lost dreams; don’t forget to look for them.

Hi, my name is Molly Burford and I spiral a lot. Most times, my mind looks a bit like this:

And it really fucking sucks.

Luckily, after therapy (shout out to Stephanie), my own personal observations, and some good ‘ol fashioned Googlin’, I’ve come compiled five little strategies to help short-circuit a spiral when you feel like you just can’t stop it.

1. Take a fucking shower.

Or anything that will change your body temperature, such as holding ice cubes or simply running your hands under warm or cold water. A change in body temperature can literally elicit a change in your mental state. This is a nod to one of the skills taught in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), called TIP, and is part of their distress tolerance strategies. It is said to help someone who is experiencing emotional distress refocus and ground oneself.

Personally, I’ve found this tip (lol) to be very beneficial. When I’m in a particularly grueling spiral, I’ve literally taken hot and cold showers to help slow my thoughts and regroup. Not only do I feel like I’m doing something for #selfcare, but physiologically speaking, I’m literally changing my body chemistry. It’s a simple but effective trick to stop a spiral in its tracks.

2. Change your scenery.

One thing I like to do when I’m really struggling is force myself to run an extremely quick and easy errand to a store nearby, getting out of the house and into a fresher mindset. Not only do I cross something off my to-do list, but I’m also physically stepping out of my surroundings, symbolically, if you will, shelving whatever it is that’s ailing me. Because let’s face it, it’s easier to have a mental breakdown alone in your room than in the aisles of Target. (Author’s note: I’ve done both. Highly recommend a private freakout.)

Extra challenge: Make sure you go to an actual person to check out. No self-checkout. This will force you to make conversation, taking the focus off yourself and onto someone else, ultimately rerouting your mind from worrying about x, y, z and into exchanging quick pleasantries with a fellow human being. Sometimes, our mind just needs a little redirection. That’s all.

3. Plan for your ideal life with a ~vision board~.

Sounds corny, but this also serves as a reminder that whatever you’re going through is temporary. You’re not always going to feel this way. You’re not always going to be lonely or broke or miserable (or all three!).

So get your creative juices flowing and set up a Pinterest board, a physical board, a five-year plan, and end-of-year plan…whatever serves you best. Visualize what you want out of your life and brainstorm ways to achieve those things. Yes, not everything will be possible. But it’s also okay (and beneficial!) to hope. After all, according to Rewire Me, creating a vision board brings clarity to your dreams, allows us to reach a greater level of awareness, and, what I think is the most important, it provides incentive. It helps keep our “eyes on the prize” and our resilience strong. It reminds us why we started and why we ought to keep going.

4. Acceptance mantras.

Because sometimes “being positive” doesn’t always work; in my experience, though, acceptance does. In DBT, this is called “radical acceptance” and it’s the ultimate surrender to what is, rather than focusing on what we think “should” be. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not surrendering to your circumstances, but rather it’s acknowledging and allowing reality. Fighting what already has happened is what leads to suffering. Accepting what has happened and figuring out what to do next leads to problem-solving.

Some examples of some radical acceptance mantras/statements include:

• It is what it is.
• It’s no use fighting the past. 
• This moment is exactly as it should be, given what has happened before it. 
• I cannot change what has already happened.

Also, come up with your own variations of the aforementioned statements. Find one that resonates most with you and repeat it out loud or silently whenever you start ruminating on something. It helps bring peace to your mind and soul when you stop resisting and start allowing. Try it.

5. Write it down, fold it up, come back to it later.

Psychology Today recommends writing down whatever it is that’s causing your mind to race. This allows you to return to these things later. To make it extra powerful, fold up the paper after you’re done writing down your worries and put it somewhere safe. It’s a way to symbolically compartmentalize and give yourself a break from the worries. With distance gives new perspectives which can lead to new solutions. And sometimes, letting something be makes you realize there was nothing really to worry about in the first place.

***

When we’re in a place of personal crisis, it’s easy to get wrapped up in whatever is going wrong. This is human and understandable. But ruminating and obsessing over something that has already happened, only might happen, or will probably never happen does not serve you or anyone else. It is unproductive and causes unnecessary suffering. The next time you find yourself in a spiral, try the aforementioned strategies to help calm yourself and bring peace back to yourself. You deserve to feel okay. You deserve to feel at ease. 

Also, you do not have to handle this on your own! Sometimes, racing and ruminating thoughts need to be treated through therapy and that’s totally okay. There are many types of therapies available according to your needs and Psychology Today has an awesome guide to the different types, as well as a directory to therapists in the U.S. There is no shame in needing someone to talk to. It could very well save your life; it saved mine.

So, in conclusion:

You will be okay. I will be okay.

We got this.

Move to Denver for a fresh start. Leave everything and everyone behind, hoping that distance will make everything a little bit easier to bear. A little less intense. A little less painful. Find that you’re sorely mistaken, that running only makes it hurt more, and that homesickness is for people and not places.

And yet, find yourself grow through the pain.  

Sink into yourself and make peace with the fact that you are not going to mean to them what they mean to you. Think one more time about giving everything another shot, and then quickly realize it’s not only your decision to make. Know it’s not their fault. They did nothing wrong. Understand it’s not your fault either. It just is what it is.  

And then, move on.

Slowly, slowly, slowly. Begin committing to yourself. Hear hope in the wind. Take four steps backward. Breathe in deeply. Pour yourself another glass and invite a friend over for a movie night. Delete their number. Hope you’ll need it again one day, but only as a friend. Be prepared for the fact that this may not happen. Take another step forward. Breathe out completely.

Instead of trying to convince them to love you, remember all the reasons it will never work.

Or simply focus on the most important one: they do not feel the same way you do.

Put your phone away. Practice saying “I’m okay” even though you feel anything but. Truly believe that one day that sentence will become truth. Pray that the person who could not love you will find love one day, too, even though it won’t be with you. Feel bittersweet but happy when you hear that they have. Think that maybe one day you might find that too.

Know that everything that has happened now is for the best. Watch the space between yourself and them grow wider and wider. See your memories together grow more distant and blurry as well. Miss them, but don’t want them back (at least not in that way).

Step into yourself, and your new life. Let them be a lesson and not a destination. Start drawing again. Write a piece called “What To Do Instead Of Convincing Them To Love You” because it’s what you needed to hear. Realize you have it in you to move on.

And then, finally, see them at a gathering with old friends. Run across the room and give them a hug. Look into their eyes and briefly see the past. And as you pull away and let go, see that there is a different kind of future with them. One that isn’t so painful. One that could be called friendship, the thing you’ve truly wanted all along.

Hi.

My name is Molly Burford and I seriously need a pep talk. Specifically one from Queer Eye’s culture expert Karamo Brown. So this is my official application! Please make me feel better about myself and the direction my life is headed, Karamo!!!! I don’t have any money to offer you at this time, but I will pay you in infinite gratitude and can make really good scrambled eggs. (Seriously, they’re fluffy as FUCK.)

Anyway, I’ve seen what you’ve done for those who have appeared on Queer Eye. I think you offer stellar advice. I know you spent years as a clinical social worker and I can’t even imagine how many people you helped before the show.

You see the best in people, you see potential, and that’s a rare gift to have since everyone pretty much hates each other all the time. You are so very kind and intelligent and I think you could really help me get my shit together. Which, currently, is very much not together!!!!

You are literally the hashtag #MondayMotivation personified, but you are not annoying or disingenuous. You’re real AF. And I love it.

From seeing the way you spoke to Tom and cheered him on and coached him in episode one to helping Leo vibe with the other dads to helping Remy become a Remington, I know you are literally an American treasure. Your help would be very much appreciated in the form of a five-10 minute pep talk.

Love,

I Need A Pep Talk, Please!

P.S.

If Jonathan wants to fix my hair, if Tan wants to style me, if Antoni wants to teach me to cook something other than scrambled eggs, and if Bobby wants to help me with my room because I literally don’t have a bedframe, I would not be opposed!

Aries

You’ll learn the beauty of the process, that the best things take time, and that sometimes the most beautiful views are on the way to where you’re headed, not the destination itself.

Taurus

You’ll learn the joy of being wrong. Sounds crazy to you probably, but there is a certain happiness in discovering that you truly don’t know it all and that there is so much to learn and discover about the world.

Gemini

You will learn to follow your curious heart with your entire being, even if that gets you into trouble sometimes. Some say you’re inconsistent, and they may be right, but this fall you’ll learn to work with what you’ve got and see the bright side in always looking for what’s next.

Cancer

You’ll learn to be at peace with the fact that people will not love the same ways you do. You’re a little more sensitive than most, and that’s okay! This fall, you’ll realize that this is a strength and not a weakness by any means.

Leo

You will learn the value of letting someone else take center stage every now and then, that sometimes being a wallflower gives you new perspectives and insights you wouldn’t have had the opportunity to discover and see if you were constantly in the limelight.

Virgo

You will learn that being way too hard on yourself isn’t beneficial or inspiring. It doesn’t prevent you from making mistakes, it just makes you feel like shit. This autumn, you’ll learn the value of positive self-talk and start implementing that into your life.

Libra

You’ll learn that holding a grudge does not bring about justice to a situation. Rather, you’ll discover it only drives a wedge between your closest relationships; and the longer that wedge is there, the more difficult it will be to break it free. This autumn, you will lean into forgiveness rather than hanging onto pain.

Scorpio

You’ll learn that without trust, there is no love. This autumn, you’ll learn the importance of letting people in. You may not master having faith all the time, but you will understand its imperativeness for healthy and strong relationships.

Sagittarius

You’ll learn that it’s okay to deeply care and that you do not have to be so flippant about everything all the time. There is a fine balance between caring too much and too little, and you fall on the latter end of that spectrum. This fall, you’ll find peace in vulnerability and allowing yourself and your feelings to be truly seen.

Capricorn

You’ll learn that working hard doesn’t always mean you’ll succeed or get what you want, but there is always something to be taken away from working your ass off anyway. Discipline is built upon, hard work is a skill, and the integrity found in trying your best is everything.

Aquarius

You’ll learn to that it’s okay to feel, and to feel those things deeply. There is freedom in truly expressing all that it is that is going on in your mind and your heart. You will gradually ease into the idea of sharing more of your emotions with the world, rather than leaving it all locked inside.

Pisces

You’ll learn that dancing around problems doesn’t make them go away, it only makes them worse. This autumn, you’ll realize that you need to start facing issues head-on, rather than waiting for them to disappear.

Ari Eastman also wrote a wonderful write-up.

Game Of Thrones is about a mystical place called Westeros or Wasterdos or something that starts with a W where everyone is fucking each other all the time and there are dragons. It was originally a book series by George R. R. Martin who is very, very, very old. You can watch the show on HBO…..I think.

There are likeeeee, 17 books in the series and the books are #thicc. This is why each episode is like seven hours long. Each one basically has three things: betrayal, sex, and murder. There’s this dude, Jon Snow, who everyone thinks is super hot. I heard he died and came back, so that’s cool. There is also this blonde chick with braids and I think she’s a queen or has some kind of influence. She is also very hot.

Winter is constantly coming there, which might be why everyone is pissed and killing each other all the time. There also was once a red wedding, which I heard didn’t end very well. I think there was a lot of blood (hence, red wedding).

Idk man. I don’t really think there’s anything else to know about the show besides that it’s violent and sexual. Yeah…that means it’s definitely on HBO.

I’m sorry I wrote this, part two.

1. Not everything happens for a reason, but most things do have a tendency to work out okay.

2. Rejection isn’t the end of the world. It’s merely a redirection.

3. You are more than your job title, your productivity, your achievements, the number in your bank account.

4. Just because love didn’t last doesn’t mean you can’t look back at it with affection. That doesn’t mean it didn’t matter. That doesn’t mean you have to negate all the good times. Even if it went down in flames, you can still remember the times it burned bright and alive.

5. You always have a choice.

6. Learning to accept what has already happened will be one of the best things you do for yourself.

7. You’re not done growing; you’re never done growing until your last breath on this earth.

8. It’s okay to cry.

9. Unplug every now and then; you need to recharge, too.

10. One day, you’ll forget all the people who forgot you. It’s not always going to hurt like this.

11. Life is simply a series of beginnings and endings, and both of these are opportunities to grow, to love, to learn.

12. Sometimes, the healthiest thing to do is to just let go of everything that’s holding you back. Of former relationships, of painful memories, of failures; leave it behind. None of it is serving you any longer, so why keep hanging on?

13. It’s never too late to take your health back, be that mental or physical.

14. Slow the hell down. You don’t have to participate in the rat race. Take life at your own pace.

15. Tell the people you love that you love them, especially in the moments when you feel it the most. Acknowledging love is one of the best ways to realize how much of it you truly have in your life.

16. You’re allowed forgive yourself for all the times you got it wrong. You’re allowed to be imperfect. You’re allowed to love yourself despite these shortcomings.

17. No one really knows what the hell they’re doing. Everyone is just figuring it out as they go, including you. This is normal. This is okay.

18. Stay in every now and then on a Friday for a night of self-care. Journal, watch your favorite movie, drink tea, disconnect from your phone, etc. Just focus on what you want to do outside of other people. It’s important to do this because it’s a fantastic way to get to know yourself a little better. Your relationship with yourself is important. After all, the better you know yourself, the better friend, employee, daughter, son, partner you can be.

19. Stop checking your email every five seconds. That’s not healthy.

20. You are loved. You are okay. You are more than enough. Breathe. It’s going to be alright.

Aries (March 21st to April 19th)

Ask for forgiveness, not permission.

Taurus (April 20th to May 21st)

Agree to disagree, but I’m always right just so you know.

Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st)

I don’t care, you choose.

Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd)

Netflix and never leave the house.

Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd)

Know yourself, know your worth, never settle.

Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd)

There’s a spreadsheet for that.

Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd)

Stay balanced, stay sane.

Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd)

Fool me once, I wish death on your entire family.

Sagittarius (November 23rd to December 21st)

*laughing mischievously*

Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th)

I can’t, I have to work.

Aquarius (January 21st to February 18th)

*~All good things are wild & free~*

Pisces (February 19th to March 20th)

Live, laugh, cry about everything.

Voting on November 6th, 2018. Why, you ask? Because you fucking should and it’s important.

Get details on voter status and registration here.

Don’t be a dumbass. 

Emo usernames are FTW! xD

If you’re still stuck in 2003, it might be time to start treating your social media accounts like AIM and change your user names to emo usernames instead. The right followers will understand.

Whether you’re My Chemical Romance’s biggest fan or just have a lot of emotions you have yet to work through in therapy, give your Instagram account, Discord user name, or whatever other platform you prefer the emo upgrade it deserves.

How to Create An Emo Username: Tips

But what makes a username sound emo, anyway? In order to make a good username that sounds emo, there are some best practices to consider.

While there is no one way to be emo, there are some elements that can help make your username reflect the emo kid you will always be:

Random numbers: If blink-182 can choose a random number for their band you can for your emo username.

Spell words with numbers: For example, use “3” in place of “E” or “4” in place of “for.”

Underscores: You know, for *~edge~* Seriously, though, simply add a random underscore at the end or beginning of a username and BAM. EMO. You can also switch up the capitalization of letters, words, etc.

Puns: When in doubt, pun it out. Think references to the best emo bands, obscure movies, whatever comes to mind when you hear the word “emo.”

Personalized: The perfect name for any kind of account, whether it is an emo username or otherwise, should be personalized for the person who holds the account.

Emo Username Ideas

Below are 100+ cool and catchy emo usernames you can use for any social media account, from your Instagram username to your YouTube channel to your Twitter.

Search the below list of emo usernames to find your perfect match. Just make sure to check their availability first (though you can always add an underscore in the right place to make it unique).

For example, if you like the username “g0thb4by” you could change it to “goth_baby92” or whatever makes the most sense for you. Remember, these are just suggestions. Don’t be afraid to use your creativity and own ideas.

1. itwasntaphasemom
2. eternalsadnessbrigade
3. live_laugh_leave_me_alone
4. takingbacksunday_butnotyou
5. lobotomies4sale
6. LonerStoner
7. g0thb4by
8. SilenceIsTheLoudestRaWrrrr
9. damag3dgothbaby
10. CharredBlackHeart
11. xanaxandpanicattacks
12. allpanicnodisco
13. GerardIsTheWay
14. TeenAngstLifestyle
15. BlackParadeMember
16. SallyWithoutJack
17. VansForSaleNeverWorn
18. requiemformychildhoodbedroom
19. scenekid4ever
20. d4ddyissues
21. my_chemical_imbalance
22. gothl0ser
23. radioheadstan
24. PsychWardCutie
25. _xxTheAngelFromYourNightmare_xx
26. MaliciousMuppet
27. WoundedWarriorPrincess
28. ChurchofRamen
29. FueledBySpite
30. SufferingSadGirl
31. SadGirlClubPresident
32. lovelessbimbo
33. depressionsessionpartyof1
34. debbydown3r
35. captain3motional
36. XxHopelessRomanticxX
37. andheartssemicolon
38. TearsForYears
39. reformedcoolgirl
40. CEOofrockbottom
41. dudewheresmydad
42. YourFaveBloodyValentine
43. sk8rboi4ever
44. darkacademia
45. dudewheresmySSRI
46. prozacprincess
47. inthebizofmisery
48. left4dead
49. darknesswon
50. theghostofu
51. urgonnahearmeRAWR
52. poppunkprincess
53. notyourb4by
54. ineedadoctor
55. dejectedandrejected
56. gothgoddess
57. lonelylheartsclubmember
58. brokenhearted
59. emostateofmind
60. outcastedextrovert
61. yourlocalwallflower
62. hexmeback
63. mascarastainsandemotionalpains
64. deadinside
65. theperksofbeinganoutsider
66. smashedpumpkin
67. satansassistant
68. thepsychwardcalled
69. kurts_ghost
70. courtneydidntluvhim
71. nobody_likes_me_at_any_age
72. stockholmsyndromeandcyanide
73. sinsandsadness
74. falloutgirl
75. iwillfollowuintothedarkness
76. godofthegoths
77. bossofthemallpunks
78. comeasurbutnotlikeme
79. thegirlattherockshow
80. yourworstnightmare
81. the_skellingtons
82. emokidsfanclub
83. andscene_kid
84. confessionsonthedashboard
85. concrete_emo
86. thesadnesspersists
87. yourkonstantine_
88. newfoundgory
89. myownworstenemy
90. abandoned_angel
91. _emotional_support_group_for_sad_bitches
92. still_eating_lunch_alone
93. miseryluvscompany
94. whatsmyrageagain
95. iwritetragediesnotsins
96. callingallsadkids
97. skullsandpotions
98. headinthestormclouds
99. iamdatingpetewentzinmydreamz
100. mrsbrightside
101. abandoned_wishes
102. cheerupemokid